Valentine's Day Chicks Gone Mad (Feb 15, 2008)

Some of the places have women wearing red pant suits. Some of the places have Valentine's decorations all over the rooms.

I was delivering to some insurance place whose name I won't mention, and some big woman threatened to beat me up for delivering the food so late. She later meant that to be a joke.

You know, I should rephrase that the way Al Bundy would have phrased it.

A fat woman walked into my shoe store, and threatened to beat me up if I didn't find her a small size shoe that would fit her big fat feet. I told her that all of my smaller shoes thought she was Godzilla and scattered away for their lives.

Geez, what was she expecting, a bouquet of roses?

At another place, there was some middleaged woman in a daycare center who literally was covered in hearts. Yucch. She wanted to hire me and help her take care of the unruly kids. No way! This lady looked like she was expecting Mr. Right to come and help complete her day.

In a convienience store, there were counter chicks wearing hearts on their faces. One were trying to hit on a customer waiting ahead of me. That could get them fired. Are they taking this day a bit too much as their own?

Speaking of fast food, why are some uniforms so dog ugly? The worst ones are the ones from Domino's Pizza. The females should be wearing uniforms with halter tops and hot pants instead of looking like Eminem's sisters. Thank God none of them tried to hit on me. I would have thrown up. I don't date females who look like dudes. I don't date dudes either.

Lastly, an elderly woman wearing all red greeted me when I made my delivery. She wanted to kiss me, but I kept backing off. She asked why. I told her that I was sick with the flu. She said that she was sick with the flu too. I asked her to pay and not touch me. She got mad and yelled at me. She didn't tip either.

Back off, women! I don't care if you're a Desperate Widow or whatever, I'm not interested.

Boy, does Valentine's Day suck or what? I'm glad that's over!

Happy February 13 and a Halfth (Feb 13 1/2, 2008)

Valentine's Day? Phooey!

Happy February 13 and a Halfth, for the rest of us who are more than happy to ignore a day of giving that's coming way too soon after Christmas.

If you're a dude, and your chick is threatening to make you empty your wallet to get them gifts, just tell her that you're going to take a "business trip" to some city because his employer is having a seminar to help improve his life, or whatever lie you can come up with. Then pack your bags and leave the city to whatever place you want to go. Since it's near the weekend, tell her that you won't be back until late Monday.

So much hype about the holiday just make me laugh hysterically as the day doesn't mean anything to me at all. I ain't got no chick of my own to give stuff to, so the advertisers sales pitches are going over my head. The marketing is so aimed at chicks. There's nothing in it for us guys at all.

Cya from El Zona, in case some desperate chick wants me as a last resort, which I don't want to be a part of.