Let's Watch TV This Week (Apr 23, 2007)

Some moron organization that I don't need to name is calling for us to turn off our televisions for a whole week because it cuts into our time doing other stuff. What other stuff is there for us to engage in? Anyone want to read a book at a beer party? Boring!

We men watch fewer hours of televsion outside of sports than women, children, geeks, gays, trannies, and elderlys. It's time we stepped up our TV watching efforts just for the week to counter the morons who don't like people watching television.

Sure, I know that most of television sucks big time. Most of the shows are geared for women, which is why they're called televaginasion nowadays. But we men need to stand up and to make a statement that we will not be told what to do with our lives.

So along with watching baseball, and the playoffs for baskeball and hockey, we men need to make a sacrifice in our free time working on our cars, going golfing, bowling, and hanging out in bars and take a hard step into the world of vaginavision when we're not watching our favorite sports on television.

It's time to put our balls into our sacks, clench our teeth, get our caffiene ready, and watch the kind of television that we just don't want to watch just to fill in the time when we're not watching television.

For this week, we're restricting our free time to the broadcast (non-cable) stations when we're not watching our sports teams play on the cable and broadcast channels. The broadcast channels are the ones that have the most to lose as people are brainwashed into not watching TV for a week. Here's my reccomendations.

Weekdays: Today, The View, Young & The Restless, All My Children, One Life to Live, General Hospital, Dr. Phil, Oprah Winfrey. At least there are some hot chicks on the soaps.

Weeknight Early Evenings: King of the Hill, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Friends, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, That 70s Show.

Prime-Time: Anything from ABC, CBS, and FOX. Don't bother with NBC, the CW or My Network TV because most of their shows are too low-rated to matter if people stop watching them. Don't watch PBS for a week because they are not counted in the ratings. Be sure to catch the most un male-friendliest shows of the week on Thursdays: Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy. Get out the pink stuff to drink because you're going to need it!

Weekends: Sports is on all the time everywhere, but try to take a break and watch Hannah Montana on ABC and some cartoons from the CW.

It won't be easy, but if you're man enough to handle all that television for the next seven days, then your efforts to counter the Turn Off Your TV morons will not be in vain, and we'll send them a message that what we do with our time is none of their business.