Editor: David Tanny
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Wayne Lewis Greetings and Farewell (April 3, 2004)Hi there. Well, today, Saturday, is my final day of sitting in for Danny Tanny, who just sent me a few of his El Zona de los Misterio diaries that will be edited and published early Monday morning. I'm happy to report that "Mr. Freeze" has been defeated. How did he and his gang do it? You'll have to read about it next week to find out all the juicy details. Also, he'll be back in El Zona next month for a recall of the King of El Zona, which isn't going to be as complicated as this past March's touch screen ballot, in fact, it settles the matter in an old fashioned way. More about it in June. Meantime, here's the final radio news headlines and stuff for the week. Thanks much for reading. Adios. WLWayne Lewis Greetings (April 2, 2004)Hello, this is Wayne Lewis, who's still subbing for the vacationing Danny Tanny. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's April Fool's joke news about KGTV, Stern, and all the other crazy kind of news. Anyway, on with the show.Thanks For Reading (April 1, 2004)Well, that's it for today's edition. Too much stuff today. Took me three hours to sort through the news and gossip. No foolin' until next April 1. I'm Wayne Lewis...out! (apologies to Ryan whatshisname).Wayne Lewis Greetings (April 1, 2004)Hello, this is Wayne Lewis, who's still subbing for the vacationing Danny Tanny, who is still missing from this line of realm and expected to be arrested by the CHP for evading the officers sometime this month. Today, here is the news...Thanks For Reading (April 1, 2004)Please read the updated Wires just below this paragraph for links to yesterday's news that have been updated since noon yesterday. Whatever April Fool jokes you plan to do, please be sure of a few simple rules: 1) no death hoaxes. 2) no hurting anybody. 3) no breaking the law. and 4) have fun. Those are my rules. Enjoy the April Fool Day. Thanks much. WLWayne Lewis Greetings (March 31, 2004)Hi there. Wayne Lewis with today's news for Wednesday. Today and Tomorrow, we have The Readers Strike Back because we've gotten a flood of viewer mail just today, believe it or not, so we're going to do part one of Strike Back today, and the rest tomorrow. How's that sound?Thanks For Reading (March 31, 2004)Later Wednesday, some midday wires, and tomorrow, more viewer mail, and other stuff. Some late news wires for today follow this sign-off. We've gotten a couple of complaints about our "plugging" of XM Radio because it's partially owned by Clear Channel. Frankly, we don't care who owns it. I like it because I'm getting a lot of music not heard on the local airwaves. I don't care what people say about our choice of satellite radio. If you like Sirius, fine. Get it and stop picking on us. We chose XM because XM 40 has the Best of Dr. Demento, a show that's not on the local airwaves. Do us a favor, get Dr. Demento on a local station, and we'll switch to Sirius. Are you with me on this. Thanks much. WLWayne Lewis Greetings (March 30, 2004)Hi there! We're back with more new news for the week from Tuesday through Saturday, the usual five days we publish. Tanny has a search warrant for his arrest by the CHP for speeding on the freeway, but I haven't heard from him in almost a week. Hope he's alright. Anyway, on with the news.Thanks For Reading (March 30, 2004)Tomorrow, more radio wires, some viewer mail has come in that is on-topic and we'll share the best of them as well. Be sure to fill out the Arbitron diaries accurately or else your favorite station may go Spanish or some other weird niche format that doesn't appeal to the intellectual demographic of the radio listening audience. Do we really need an all-chick contemporary channel? Well, half of the population thinks so. For the other half (including me), it's total torture. Radio needs to understand that it's the males that have the money, but unfortunately, this male is spending his money on satellite and Internet radio to listen to male-friendly demographic formats such as country (not the watered-down fluff), adult rock, techno, and comedy among others. Can radio get this male back to listening to their overly-female friendly stations? Sure it can. Just give a station a sex-change operation and we males will come back in droves. Think about it. I'm gone. Thanks much. WLWayne Lewis Greetings (March 29, 2004)Hello, this is temporary webmaster and author Wayne Lewis sitting in for the vacationing David Tanny. We'll be back with the SDN news industrial strength early Tuesday, but meanwhile, here's an update on the cast of a TV show involving eight "teenagers" now nearing the age of Social Security, which may run out in 15 years.Thanks For Reading (March 29, 2004)That's it for today. There's no "Readers Strike Back" due to a low number of letters, so we'll save the best of the on-topic subjects for next week. SDN returns full-industrial strength tomorrow. What station will carry the Padres telecasts along with Mighty 1090 into the East County when the regular season starts next week? We'll know by then, we hope. KXO 1230 out of El Centro carries the games, though it can be picked up on the eastern side of the mountains. No word if any other station that has a good signal between San Diego and the hills facing Imperial County will be the secondary Padres affilliate. Anyone know, please send it in. Thanks much. WLWayne Lewis Greetings (March 27, 2004)Hello. This is Wayne Lewis concluding this week's SDN with some last minute updates. We've just gotten word about author David Tanny from El Zona and it looks like the whole area is in a deep freeze...in March? It was a white Equimas, the first time ever, in a place where the temperature never dips below 33 degrees anytime. Also...MP3s are banned in the whole region. Plans made for an election recall to take the corrupt rulers out. And...some evil rich gang is out to take over the entire media world with a weapon of mass destruction as leverage. What a mess. Tanny had better explain it all when he gets back April 5th. Anyway, here's some last minute updates for the week. The San Diego WP2-04 Trends come out next week.Thanks For Reading (March 27, 2004)Well, that's it for the week of SDN news. Please look at the left hand column to read past archives of SDN dating all the way back to the previous millenium...1999! Remember when 1999 was mistakenly the last year of the second millenium? Remember the Y2K scare and fear about computers crashing and airplanes falling down on Jan 1, 1900? If the folks in the real world learned anything, it was from witnessing a literal Y2K meltdown in the El Zona region (remember, the year 2000 Milleian time translated to March 24, 1996 Gregorian time), where almost none of the computers were prepared for Y2K to hit, and boy what a mess it was for months after that happened. What good did Windows 95 and 3.1 do when the calendars in El Zona are dated four years fast? Windows 98 addressing some of the problems came out in 2002 Milleian time, and that was too late for the poor folks in El Zona to help anyone. Now that most of the Y2K-related injuries to our system have been repaired, we can all rest in peace, knowing that our descendants 7,995 years from now will be preparing for another possible catastrophe: Y10K!!! Catch you next week. Thanks much. WLThanks For Reading (March 26, 2004)I'll be back Saturday morning for the last editon of SDN for the week. Don't forget to check the Dr. Demento weekly subject columns on the page you are reading now and listen to the show on the Internet and a Best of version on XM 40. The two Demento columns have all the details. Hey, you could get Demented from 9am-11am on one station on the Internet while you read SDN Saturday morning! Isn't the Internet age great? You can listen to radio shows that are not available in your area, formats that are not in your area, and learn a lot about what music is out there in America that local radio isn't covering, depending on where you live. The problem is that you still need an expensive computer, Internet connection, and all those puzzling downloads in order, not to mention how to tune in a station, and, unless you have wireless broadband, you can't take your favorite radio station anywhere. Just wait until somebody invents one of those thing-a-ma-jig radios that can dial up an Internet connection (wired or not) with a modem you snap-onto the thing (phone, DSL, broadband, WI-FI, high speed wireless, even the outdated ISDN, remember how hard it was to get 128kbps by combining two phone wires?) automatically, then you have a jog-shuttle knob and a keypad entry so you can just tune in any Internet radio station that uses a standard streaming protocol, and you just enter the name of the station on the keypad, or scroll up and down to see that 1,000s that's out there. Problem? Clear Channel. No, I don't mean they'll gobble up Internet radio. Clear Channel has so many radio stations that are named KISS, Channel, My, US, Mix, NewsRadio, and whatever that we'll be a hard time figuring out which of the 27 or so KISS stations we want to tune in. Maybe tag a three-letter city prefix at the end? Will there be a battle for the KOOL oldies handle between several broadcasters? Anyway, I'm tuning out. Thanks much. WLWayne Lewis Greetings (March 25, 2004)Happy New Year everyone, I'm Wayne Lewis substituting for David Tanny whos on a long deserved break from the websites. We'll he hearing from Tanny when he gives a mid-vacation holiday report later this or next week about his holiday activities so far in the loony land of El Zono de los Misterio, unless he's too drunk from partying with the locals on Milleian New Years Eve. Anyway, here's the news and stuff for today.THIS JUST IN... news from Craig Kilborn...65 percent of car accidents are caused by people freaking out when they realize that AM radio still exists. Thanks For Reading. Friday on SDN March 25, 2004We'll do the obligatory Random Access Radio feature where we report what's on the websites of the radio stations in San Diego. Plus some more news wires and possibly a mid-vacation update by website owner Danny Tanny, or is it Danny Tanner? Dan Tanna? Danni Tranny (just kidding, Dave, don't fire me for this!) By the way, I'm typing this while sitting only in boxer shorts. Enjoy the March Madness hoops hysteria in 5.1 surround sound where available. Got HDTV? We're still stuck with a small 5-inch B&W TV set. We can't find a TV set that tunes in everything yet, so we're holding out until somebody starts making a TV set that can tune in anything like a telephone can call anybody. We don't need all those stinking cable and satellite boxes, A/B switches, signal splitters, hookups, amplifiers and other junk that takes up a lot of space...just from behind the set! What confusion! Get a TV set that can tune in everything with one wire hookup and get the rest of the junk outta here! And so am I. Thanks much. WLMeet Wayne Lewis (March 24, 2004)Happy New Year everyone, I'm Wayne Lewis substituting for David Tanny whos on a long deserved break from the websites. Several features will be running as usual, but Tanny's commentaries and stuff will have to wait until after the holidays are over. Thanks much for tuning in.Thanks for Reading (March 24, 2004)Thursday on SDN, we're visiting the local magazine wires. It's also the start of the second weekend of the March Madness, which, coincidently, is being played during the 2 3/7 weeks of the Vernalmas Holiday season, so there's some holiday hoops for folks in El Zona. March 24 is the real Milleian New Year Day only on Gregorian calendar leap years, but some simplists prefer March 25, so that's why there's two New Years Eve countdowns and parties every leap year. Weird, eh? Wish somebody in the name of God would find a permanent predictable date plan for Easter Sunday, which arrives any day between March 22 and April 25, depending on when the Sunday immediately after the Full Moon occurrs. Why not the second Sunday in April? This year, it's April 11, which suits me fine. It's after the holidays, and spring is well under way. Well, no calendar is perfect. I thought all someone did was roll a pair of dice and let it pick a day to celebrate Easter. I'm out. Thanks much. WLThanks for Reading (March 23, 2004)Wednesday on SDN, we're going to take a look at The Readers Strike Back viewer mail, and this time, it's not all about Howard Stern off the air. For those who are using the Milleian Calendar, March 23, 2004 Gregorian converts to Blue 30, 2007, New Year's Eve, instead of Blue 29, because the Milleian Calendar has a neat way of dealing with leap years. Every four years, the next being 2008, a leap year day is inserted at the END of the year, not in the middle, so that's why that since Feb 29, 2004, Gregorian, the Milleian dates seem a day fast. Gregorian calendar users may celebrate the Milleian New Year on March 25 every year, though March 24 is really the new year day. Anyone with me on this? Neither am I. Anyway, the Milleian calendar names are...Aqua, Green, Lime, Yellow, Yorange, Orange, Rorange (I guess they're making up a name so that something rhymes with Orange), Red, Magenta, Purple, Indigo, and Blue. What happened to Plaid, Striped, or Polka Dot for months? I like the idea of a Brown month. Let's not get into what they call the days of the week. Thanks much. WL Holiday Break (March 20-23, 2004)Due to the Holidays, SDN will be taking time off to share the Equimas presents with their friends and families. A temporary editor to be announced will be coming aboard on Wednesday morning to keep up with the radio headlines. The regular features, including this weekend's Dr. Demento subjects are on this page (scroll down) as usual. Letters to the Editor will resume Wednesday. Dr. Demento fun music is mainstream while Top 40 CHR nowadays is of an acquired taste that we just cannot figure out. Merry Equimas everyone, and I'll see you next year (March 25 is the Milleian New Years Day.) (D.T.)D.T.'s Signs Off (March 19, 2004)In observance with the holidays and the upcoming new year that translates to March 25, I will be taking a long deserved holiday break and let the clowns at SDN run my website for a couple of weeks.The regular features such as the weekly "Dr. Demento" XM and Internet show reminders as well as other stuff will continue to be updated. "What holidays?" you say? That's what I've been asking during December. It's not a holiday if you can't celebrate it with friends who happen to be a Jew, a Christian, a Muslim, an agnostic, a Wiccan, and a Kwazzan all together, is it? Who decided to place the holiday train wreck around December 21? What a mess! March is a great time to spend on holiday gifts if you're getting income tax refunds. Just don't go the limit with your credit and pay it off by May! Happy "real" holidays everyone! |