Chachiisms

Some are singles, some are doubles, some are homers, some are strikeouts, and then there are some that are literally fouled off to the left. You be the judge.

"The [Jingle Ball '99] is bigger than Woodstock"

"Robisons and May got married, now they're Rob-May"

"I love things that are free, like, I love the air because that's free, sure."

"Weird Al's hair is like a cross between Marilyn Manson amd Howard Stern."

"More people know Monica Lewinski than Paul McCartney"

"I always think of an alias as someone that was kind of like a criminal like Billy the Kid."

"I didn't know I sound like such a dork going through the Haunted House"

Chachi on tips on searching for the hidden bonus code on Star 100.7's website: "I'll tell you a better tip, call Kristi Knight, she's a pushover!"

"I've never seen a white pumpkin in my entire life!"

"80 to 20% is a definite knockout."

"I figured out why there were so few trick or treaters out last night...the Chargers were out of town." Anyone know what that means?

"The Jingle Ball (announced for '99) is like a Christmas Tree...it gets bigger and bigger until it doesn't fit in the house anymore"

on the Ryan Leaf suspension: "It opens up a seat at Qualcomm Stadium"

"[Las Vegas is] a great place to be when the world comes to an end if it does."

"Women like things like DVD players."

"Pokemon is not real; it's a cartoon; it's drawn."

"In the 80's you could only drive 55"

"I hate Oakland [Raiders]. One time I got beat up by a kid that was wearing an Oakland Raiders jacket...so ever since then, I hated Oakland. I wasn't so tough in junior high days."

"How are [the red ants] getting [to San Diego]? Are they marching down I-10?"

"No School 'til Monday."

"(It's not a Beanie Baby), it's a faka-beanie."

"Prince is kind of a freak."

"If they can remember it, I can remember it."

"I always kind of think that Star is the Hotel Del of radio stations."

"As far as I'm concerned, Michael Jackson does not exist in the 1990's. [In the 80's], he looked like a regular human being, that was when he was cool."

"You know it's really pathetic when we're talking about Chachi."

"You gotta get at least a Charlie Brown [Christmas] Tree!"

"I will be riding around on a unicycle juggling bowling pins at the very beginning of the [Jingle Ball '99] program."

"I'm glad [Rick Springfield] wasn't singing Jagger's Girl [at last year's Jingle Ball]"

"Everyone in San Diego knows who Jewel is."

"Where the heck is producer Brian when we need him!"

"I'm having a hard time, like forgetting, it's like I don't even mean to, but it just happens, it's so embedded in my head."

"[Monica Lewinsky] no longer calls him Bill Clinton, she just calls him the experience!"

"If Andrew Ridgeway (of Wham!) got together with (what's left of) Milli Vanilli, it would be one heck of a band!"

"I was so confident and I missed it by two million!"

"Dick Clark might produce Greed and host Winning Lines, but Chachi produces 80's Time Warp Trivia."

"If you can't say it, it's got to be good"

"One time I got to meet Mariah Carey at the Blockbuster entertainment awards; she's not nice at all."

"Victoria's Secrets pretty much exists because of Madonna"

"The voting has now become an AM/PM minimart 24 hours a day."

"If we got a camera and attatched it to [Jagger's] cat's head, then we'd call it a Kitty Cam!"

"Never Listen to Me"

"Ever notice that the commercials they air on the Super Bowl? They just air on the Super Bowl."

"I think that Chelsea Clinton has gotten kind of pretty."

"Those office polls are a scam -- the only one that ever makes money is the guy that runs the office poll."

"Oh man, I'm so confused!"

"When I retire,...I'm going to be the Padre announcer, or the guy that works at the front of Wal Mart [greeting customers.]"

"It's definitely new, it's got that new smell to it."

"I gave my heart and soul to that show, and what happens? It gets cancelled."

"I go to USD; that's where smart people go."

"Isn't Pookie that thing that ran around with Gumby?"

"If I were spending $50 for a piece of chocolate, I'd wonder what it was I was eating too."

"[The definition of a millionaire] depends on what you have a million of."

"All rich people have a throne to sit on."

"[Mission Valley] (when flooded) is like Venice down there!"

"When I was a little kid, I always thought that leap year was to celebrate a frog."

"12 million [acres], that's a lot of house!"

"Tony Gwynn has the most hits after two strikes."

"If you're a big rock star and had big hit songs, you should pay people to put things up on your walls."

"I think I want to stick out like a sore thumb so no one would hit me."

"I can't talk very well; I say things that I don't really...I know what I want to say but it doesn't come out the same way that I say it."

"[name of gas station censored by D.T.] sucks!"; Good thing he doesn't do most of these shows solo.

"Everybody should have a set of Plackards in their wardrobes."

"[Ted Leitner] only makes fun of cool people."

"My parents wouldn't loan me money unless I was going to see Barry Manilow."

"The lady who designed [the Ultimo push-up bra] called it an external implant." It's a device that was used by Julia Roberts in the film "Erin BRA-kovich!"

"Blowing up was very 90's; imploding is definitely 2000."

"You start giving out free gas and all of a sudden people like me."

"There's no better way to really kick off your weekend than a big implosion."

"I can't stand April Fool's Day. I don't like the holiday. It's just mean."

"The (England) mail (system) sucks."