We were all partying into Sunday morning at the Grossout College parking lot for the holiday party. When it hit midnight, we were just two hours away from reaching the beginning of Daylight Saving Time, so 2am would become 3am instantly.
Just about everybody in the Sautee, El Zono Loco, San Rubio, and La Messed Up areas were crowded into the flattened mesa that is totally covered by the campus. The live acts were just about done for the night, so the deejays took over manning the turntables and mixing in the electronic and techno music that was heard from about a mile away.
At about 1:30am, the three rude teenagers that we encountered earlier the day before came back with a vengence. They told me, Dean, and Jim that all of the cast members of Chico and the Man were dead and now they demand that we pay those kids $1,000 apiece. Uh oh. Here we go again!
We tried to dog them, but they kept coming closer until they started hitting us. Then we had to take action and call out some reinforcements. Scotty and Chachi arrived and they began to fight those rude four teenagers.
I called out to Carlotta to find some analog watches to give to the teenagers. Carlotta found them, then told the teenagers to stop fighting or else they won't get anything that's worth a lot of money on ePay.
The four teenage boys stopped fighting. Carlotta told them a lie that those analog watches are ancient timepieces from the mid 20th century and are worth thousands of money when you auction them off at ePay. Scotty told the teenagers that they can have the watches if they would stop bothering us. The teenagers agreed.
Three of them put on the analog watches, but the fourth one was a bit skeptical, and just set it on the table. Carlotta asked him what's wrong with the watch. The teen we call Leo said that it looks like his granddaddy's style of watch. Carlotta kept telling him that he should put it on to impress the ladies at the party. Leo just didn't like the look. It was 1:59am and we started to press Leo hard on putting on the watch or else we'll just call the police that he and his three friends were starting a fight. Leo started cursing. At 1:59:50, he told his three friends to remove their watches as the deal is broken. The three teens tried to take off the watches, but the straps were sealed shut and couldn't be removed. Scotty threw the watch at Leo. Leo batted it away and it fell to the ground.
At 2:00am, it became 3:00am. A swirling votex engulted Leo's three friends, and Leo's watch on the ground because they all said 2:00am, and that was the end of Standard Time. It was Daylight Time, and if your watches aren't set correctly before the time change, you like those three teenagers and everybody else beforehand will end up in The Wrong Time Zone.
Leo was shocked that his three friends disappearred into another dimension. Leo started getting so mad that he became a vermin-like demon monster, and started attacking us. He grabbed one of the people and ripped his head off. Leo the vermin monster started on a rampage, running after us.
Why do these weirdos always come to ruin these parties!
Just as Leo the monster was about to rip Chachi into pieces, he was suddenly kicked on the side by a high heel.
It was Mindy the Vampire Slayer! She started to fight with Leo the vermin monster.
Leo says that "Oh brother, it's the girl with a d--k!"
Mindy slams back, "Oh crap, it's just another d--k that I'm fighting with!"
Snarling, she leaps at him by grabbing his waist and takes him down in a second. Leo jumps up and knocks Mindy backwards.
They both grab each other. Mindy kicks him. Leo pushes her away.
Leo then swings at Mindy. Mindy swerves to avoid his arm. Leo gets in another swing, but Mindy grabs his arm, thrusts it down, and Leo flips down.
Wilma nearby searches around the area for a spike.
Leo grabs Mindy and was just about to break her neck, when all of a sudden, a chair crashes on his head and knocks him down and Mindy loose. It was Chachi, telling Leo to get the f--k out of here.
Leo got mad, and took a swing just after Chachi backed down. Then he came after Chachi.
Wilma finds a piece of wood, breaks it in two so that the broken ends are sharp and jagged, then tells Mindy to catch it. Wilma throws the stick vertically and Mindy catches it.
Scotty, Dean, and an unnamed strong man grab one of the giant speakers, and threw it at Leo. Leo trips over the speaker and falls down forward, then twists, and falls down on his back.
Mindy comes after Leo with a stick, Leo moves to the side and gets up. Mindy kicks him to the ground. Leo comes after her. Mindy positions the stick so that the jagged end is facing Leo. She comes after Leo and stabs Leo in his heart with the stick.
Leo screams in agony as he is vanquished into dust, then the dust is absorbed by a vortex, then they are both gone.
Well, looks like another adventure stolen out of the books of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
By that time, about 3:15am, everybody was just about heading home as it was late. I, Dean, Jim, Scotty, and Carlotta retired for the rest of the night at Scotty's house.
At 9am, we woke up, ate some breakfast, and went to the Folk Church in Feltcher Hills. Sermons were done with the background of folk music.
I, Dean, Jim, Scotty, Carlotta, Alyssa, Chachi, and Angelina went as a group all day.
At about 11am, we made our way to Downtown San Rubio to view the biggest parade of the year, the Vernalmas Holiday End Parade. There were floats, marching bands, giant balloons, and public figures. Scotty the mayor was the Grand Marshall of the parade. Fake Santo Pedros and buffalo were marching in, along with some floats featuring a lady dressed up like Sarah Palin for some reason, or was it Tina Fey?
There was a float featuring AIG. Congress was shoveling in fake money into a bottomless AIG over and over again. Seems that AIG is never filled with money.
One more float had two women dressed like Marie Osmond and, yup, Valerie Bertinelli, fighting in mud over their two weight loss clincs Nutrasissy and Jenny Greg.
The big balloons flew as usual. One depicted John Elway, the Denver Broncos quarterback. Another one had Robot Chicken. Another one had a giant glass of beer. This is a family parade?
At about 1pm, after the parade ended, we headed over to Danielle's Grill and Sports Bar where we watched the final two college basketball teams square off. The 0-16 Puke vs. 0-16 Lost Wages. Did anybody care who won? This tournament needs to be fixed.
At about 3pm, we went to the Britney Circus. Yup. Britney Spears bought the old Circus Jerkus and changed the name. Yes, it was just like a circus. It even had lookalikes of Britney Spears lipsynching to her hit songs. No real Britney Spears though.
At about 6pm, we went to Diego's Fish Tacos for a dinner feast. Ralph Diego is the owner of the chain. There were fishburgers, fish fries, fish salads, fish tacos (naturally), fish dogs, fish pizzas, fish tostadas, fish spaghetti, fish ravoli, fish sandwiches, and just about everything else that's fishy to eat.
At about 8pm, we headed over to Scotty's house where his back yard was facing a high school ground in the El Zono Loco valley to the east. This is a great view for the Holidays End fireworks show.
At 9pm. The fireworks started off. It was a Patriotic theme as usual. Swirlers. Screamers. Big Boomers. Cracklers. Smiley Faces. Even one shaped like a taco. The audience was into the show. A perfect ending for the holidays.
The fireworks ended at 9:30. The audience cheered as the last cluster of fireworks gave its final boom for the show.
We came inside Scotty's house and checked out one last movie to watch before we parted ways for now. We downloaded and watched the classic movie National Lampoon's Animal House. I guess being at Grossout College last night put us in a mood for this movie. There should have been a food fight instead of the demon fight we were in early this morning.
There were a lot more bizarre places to visit, people to see, and things to try out, but the holiday season is over, and so is my vacation, as I'm out of time.
After the movie was over, we said our goodbyes and thanked each other for another holiday adventure. I, Dean, and Jim waved goodbye as Dean drove off in his Hummer. We drove off onto highway 155, which merged into highway 122, then 157, then hit a long stretch of highway, long enough for Dean to go faster than 44 MPH. When he did, he activated the realm travel box, zapped us into a worm hole, and we sped through a pulsating hole and onto a street somewhere in El Cajon in the Real World.
We hit I-8, then highway 125, then onto several streets until we reached my house. I told Dean to hang on to my portable time and realm machine as I won't be using it a lot. Dean said that it was okay. I waved goodbye as Dean and Jim drove back to Oceanside.
Well, gotta get back into the Real World, download a junk load of e-mail, get some new podcast shows running, check up on my websites, and catch up on some TV shows I taped onto my analog VCRs in the past two weeks.
I might do some weekends in El Zona when time permits. There might be one birthday trip to El Zona to celebrate my 49th birthday on April 26. Maybe at least one before then.
The End
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