Early in the morning in San Rubio, I, Dean, and Jim went to Chachi and Angelina's house to exchange Equimas presents that we missed out on eight days ago.
Lance and Gina went home in Weird Alpine for the first time in a week and decided to catch up on some friends there.
In the midday, we went to the grocery store called Food Bucket. We were just getting out of the car when we saw an old lady wheeling a shopping cart away from the store and on her way to being out of the parking lot. When she got to the line, the shopping cart's wheels froze up, and a loud siren was heard coming from out of it. The old lady began to panic as she tried to push the cart with frozen wheels out of the lot. Just then, two security men on duty on their mopeds drove past us and arrived at the old woman. They arrested her for attempting to steal a shopping cart and called the police to take her into their station. The police arrived soon after, handcuffed her, read her the rights, shoved her into the back seat, and drove off.
We asked the security men what about her groceries that she bought. The security men told us that she has forfeited the groceries as a penalty for attempting to take a shopping cart out of the store's parking lot, and the groceries will be returned to the store for restocking. The old lady will be barred from shopping there again.
We went to enter the store, but we were interrupted by some rude teenagers selling us some $20 candy bars (about 2 ounces in weight apiece) and demanded that we sponsor their exotic trip to vacation resorts all over the world. We told them that we'll sponsor them if they can get the cast of Chico and the Man back together for a reunion at this store, and they'll pay them $1,000 apiece. The teenagers said 'ok' and they left us alone. Wonder if they know that the entire cast except for the kid that replaced Freddie Prize are all dead.
We enter the store and saw two men roughhousing each other in the store. They were throwing cans and boxes at each other. I asked them what they're fighting for. They said that they're fighting to see which one should buy the last copy of this week's People magazine with Valerie Bertinelli in a swimsuit on the cover. We asked what's the big deal about it. They said that they wanted to show their wives what they should look like so they can get some of it at night. That was kind of rude if you ask me.
Anyway, they fought over the issue until one of them gave up and left. The victor went over and bought the last copy in the store. I asked the clerk if this man's the first man to buy this issue of People. The clerk said that last week, 96 percent of the buyers were women, but with Valerie on the cover, the only females that bought it were the Four Musketqueers lesbian quartet: Barb, Marcie, Patty, and Ellen, Alyssa, and Mindy. Among the females, only Alyssa is the natural heterosexual female.
We decided to search around the town for that issue of People. Every store was sold out of that issue. This was freakin' unbelievable.
After giving up, we decided to head back to Scotty and Carlotta's house. Carlotta made us a fine dinner. Nothing fancy. Just a enchanted salmon dinner. I guess it was a salmon enchanted evening.
It was just time for us to hit the Grossout College parking lot where a big holiday party was taking place that evening. There were live rock bands on three stages playing, concession stands, and electronica techno club music playing over several parking lots of the campus.
Alyssa came up to us and wished us a belated Merry Equimas Day, then handed us our presents. We opened it up. They were all copies of this week's People magazine with Valerie Bertinelli on the cover. She said that she got copies for all of her friends. I asked her how did she get so many copies? She said that she bought just one copy, then went over to the science lab at the campus, and had the staff make copies of the issue with their on campus computer. Looks close to the original. Alyssa said that she gave me the original copy. Jim looked at the front cover and couldn't believe it. He says that the price was $3.99 for an issue!
As we're at the Grossout College parking lot as of 8pm Pacific Standard Time (9pm Pacific Daylight time), there must be some 10,000 people attending in such an event. The music is thumping, the people are grooving, some of them are also are eating and conversating, but so far, it's a lot of fun.
We'll, we gotta end this diary entry as we'll spend the rest of the evening partying hard, as well as making sure that we Spring forward as the last day of the holiday season brings us Daylight Saving Time at 2am, which becomes 3am. Hopefully, we won't encounter any weird creatures to fight with overnight.
Happy Holidays.
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