It was 9am when I, Dean, Jim, Lance, and Gina left the Travelhodgepodge Motel in downtown P-Nix to make our long trip back to San Rubio.
We hit the I-510, which intersected into I-417, then went south on that, then west on I-10 on a long desert run towards Banana State.
During the stretch from P-Nix to the Arid Zone/Banana State border, we witnessed about a dozen coyotes chasing road runners. Some of the coyotes were using springs, rockets, catapults, and other ACME equipment to try to catch the road runners, but without any success. One of the coyotes was catapulted onto the road where an 18-wheeler doing 75 smashed it. Another coyote had a rocket malfunction and it aimed itself towards the ground, bringing a strapped-on coyote with it, then we heard an explosion a few seconds later.
Another coyote on a seesaw used an anvil to catapult him into the air. He threw it onto the opposite side. He flew straight up. Then he flew straight down. He hit the seesaw. The anvil on the opposite end flew up, curved towards the coyote, and smashed him into a spring.
Arid Zone is a crazy place to chase running birds! Chuck Jones knew he had a hunch about the cartoons, but did he ever witness anything that we had just now?
At about 12pm, we hit the state border, and stopped at the inspection post. The inspector used some kind of wand to detect something. We asked what it was they were looking for. The inspector says that he's looking for illegal fruit and milk that was grown outside of Banana State. After coming up negative, he told us to move our watches back one hour because we were entering the Specific Time zone. We drove off.
At about 1pm, we hit a major eatery where 18-wheelers on long drives had stopped in for a meal. It was just west of Palm Waters. It had several giant dinosaurs around the place. I think I've seen it on Pee Wee's Big Adventure some two dozen years ago.
We went inside and met a bunch of truckers who were chowing down beef steaks (like is there any other kind of steak?), mashed potatoes, carrots and beans, and hot apple pies.
A cute redhead lady stopped by and said hello to us. Her name was Bunny. Bunny had hair down to the waist, which was about 24 inches in circumference, with a 38D bust, a 36 inch in circumference bottom, long legs, and a smooth skin complexion.
She offered to treat us to a hot fudge sundae at the restaurant. We said OK.
Bunny told us that she was moving to San Rubio and had left her spouse. I asked why. Bunny said that her spouse divorced her and kicked her out, so she was living in her 18-wheeler until she got enough money to move into a place.
Gina said why don't she live in an apartment at the Corny Casino where they work. Bunny said that it might be too expensive. Gina says that the apartments are cheap. She says OK.
Bunny had to go to the restroom, so she and Gina went together to the ladies' room.
I, Dean, Jim, and Lance finished our food. A beefy trucker named Bill came to our side and asked us about Bunny. Dean said that she was probably available since she's been dumped by her spouse. Bill said he wanted to get a date with her. Jim said he's not sure but he can ask.
Gina and Bunny came out of the ladies' room. Gina then flagged Lance while Bunny went back to our small party. Lance came back and said to the Bill that Bunny is probably not yet ready to plunge into another relationship yet. Bill said that he and Lance should talk about it in the men's room.
They both enter and decide to do their business. Lance discovers that Bill is a butch lesbian who naturally has the equipment that females were born with. Lance then tells Bill that he had no clue. Bill tells Lance that she had to look like a man so she could get by in this tough economy, and nobody would push her around. Lance tells Bill that Bunny has a male part. Bill was so surprised that she threw up into the toilet. Then Bill got up and downed some tap water from the sink, then left the bathroom. Lance follower her out.
Bill then came to Bunny and asked her if she would like to date. Bunny said she wasn't sure. Lance told them both that Bill was a female who looked male, and that Bunny was a male who looked female, so they should try it out. Bill and Bunny agreed to go out with each other.
Jim asked Bunny why he became a she. Bunny said that as a man, none of the ladies liked him, and the men thought he was a runt, so Bunny, who used to be Roger, became a lady, and now she gets hit on by everybody including the lesbians.
Anyway, it looks like we did a better job of finding a match than some unnamed matchmaking websites would have done in this case.
After an hour, we left the restaurant and headed back on I-10 westwards.
We took several freeways heading southwards back to San Rubio. We arrived at Scotty and Carlotta's house in the east side of San Rubio city at about 5pm. They greeted us and let us stay in their home for a couple of days until we would return to San Diego late Sunday night.
The seven of us ate a fish and rice dinner. Then, we surfed onto their SHDTV set and watched some of the college basketball tournament, which is down to four teams as of Saturday morning. We surfed around the satellite TV and watched some bowling, punk country videos, Mexican league soccer, a rerun of Star Trek The College Years (we'll let the geeks come up with some stories on another blog), and an episode of Hannah Montana.
Scotty and Carlotta got us some Equimas Day presents. We didn't buy them anything yet, but whipped out some gift cards for Star's Jr. restaurants for them, and asked them to try out a Jack Daniels hamburger there.
We'll celebrate the rest of Equimas Day on Saturday morning, about eight days late with them, but it's better than nothing.
Saturday night, the whole gang is going to be at Chachi's Holiday and Moving Out party as Chachi and Angelina are moving to near downtown San Rubio. Chachi just got a new job as a manager for the local Comic Geek store in midtown.
Well, we're going to enjoy the rest of the night watching satellite TV, and getting in as much TV as we can while we're here in San Rubio with the rest of friends once again. No more 11pm sign off like it was when we were in Arid Zone.
Uh, wait a minute. This just in. I've been handed a text message from Scotty, who has some terrible news to share with me.
Erica said that Adam collapsed and was in the hospital. JR was arrested and was sent to jail but was released later. Zach gave Kendall divorce papers. Amanda went to the hospital. Zach punched Aidan in the face. Greenlee's ashes were scattered. Opal went to the hospital. Colby hit Krystal in the head with a vase. Little Adam was put into a foster home. Reese was in the hospital. Jesse grabbed David by the neck. And so forth.
Then Scotty told me that he felt sorry for my friends in the Real World.
Um, Scotty? That was the recap for this week's All My Children TV show. No need to feel sorry as it's just a freakin' TV show. It's just acting.
Anyway, I got a late blog coming up on Sunday morning as we party into the night, and San Rubio rings in Daylight Saving Time. It's 7:53pm Pacific Standard Time as I type this closing sentence.
Happy holidays.
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