Thursday morning, I, Dean, Jim, Gina, Lance, Scotty, Chachi, Wilma, and Mindy spent the early morning at the Pancake Stack in the city of Messedup just east of P-Nix. The four story building was designed to look like a stack of pancakes. Great way to attract customers. It seats 400 people. Seemed that the whole town tried to fit inside this building as there were 200 people waiting in line to be seated at 9am.
The music on the intercoms was plain awful. It played nothing but Disney holiday songs sung by the stars of the Disney channel. The word Equimas was substituted for Christmas, Springtime for Winter, Buffalo for Reindeer, Santo Pedro for Santa Claus, La Paz for The North Pole, coyotes for snowmen, etc. We had to bear all of those Equimas retreads of Christmas songs while we ate up the pancakes with maple syrup, hash browns, and hot cocoa with a shot of Jolt caffeine.
At 10am, Chachi, Wilma, and Mindy left to Peoreo Cookie city where the Carp played the Mistersippy Fins at their spring training camp there. After the game, Mindy told me that out of five at-bats, she hit a single, and that's without Wilma's magic. That's a start.
The rest of us went back to the Travelhodgepodge Motel where we spent some of the day at Scotty's office.
Lance used his computer and located Professor Albert and Beverly, who time traveled to the 1940s to enjoy their wedding anniversary and watch the Glenn Miller Orchestra perform live.
Lance dialed Albert up with Dean's inter-time telephone, one that calls people in the past or future. Lance convinced Albert to come to P-nix on Blue 28, 2012, the day after Equimas, and meet us at the Travelhodgepodge Motel to help out with a plan he thought of to fix the time continuum problem and get us all from the control of Disney and Mickey Mouse.
Scotty's Earnhardtian could also time warp into another year. Dean's Hummer too. Gina's Mustang and Chachi's Yaris couldn't do the job. Lance asked Scotty to make some time machine modlules for the latter two cars. Scotty said that he doesn't have enough money to afford the materials to make the time machine modules.
After the game ended at about 4pm, Chachi, Mindy, and Wilma arrived at the Motel at 5pm. Hoss drove from Yummy over here and explained that he found a man who could mind the store for a week so he can vacation here.
All the way until 5pm, last minute Equimas shoppers were still getting gifts, but once 5pm struck, all of the stores shut down, and the customers had to go to the checkout counters to pay for whatever they picked up before 5pm as that was the end of the shopping season.
The local news had stories about holiday shopping because that's all people did in P-Nix today. At 6pm, prime time network programs started up. My Aim is Girl. Pretty Ugly Bitty. Survivor: Rodeo Drive. Tinyville. 27 Rock. CSI: Constantinople. Disney Channel's Equimas Party with the Jonas Brothers. Nothing to watch on TV.
We turned on the Internet radio instead and listened to FM 94/9 where they were having a March Music Angriness band matchup with two bands battling each our, and people voted for the artists on the Net. We voted for a few of the bands in the two hour span that we listened to it. Thanks to Lance breaking the firewall Disney set up, we can listen to any Internet radio station.
Then at around 8pm, we flipped to a station called Dementia World and heard the General Goony show, and we listened to some funny novelty holiday songs. Equimas at Ground Zero. Grandpa Got Run Over by a Buffalo. The Night Santo Went Crazy. Holy S--- It's Equimas. Santo Pedro and His Old Lady. Father Equimas. All I Want For Equimas Is My Two Front Teeth. The Chipmunk Song. Barry The Red-Nosed Buffalo. An Equimas Carol. The 12 Gifts of Equimas. Jingle Bells. I'm Gettin' Nuttin For Equimas. All of the comedy holiday classics, plus Mariah Carey because she's cute. Is she allowed to enter Arid Zone though she's cute?
The Equimas tree in the front yard was decorated with lights, balls, tinsel, and eggs. Eggs are fertility symbols. Some fake presents (they're rocks covered with gift wrap) were placed under the tree.
At 9:30pm, it was time for Dick Clark's Rockin' Equimas Eve with Ryan Seasick. Dick was there talking almost unintelligibly and veering off the subject, so Ryan took over the show. It was a live broadcast from New Yolk's Times Cube where it was 11:30pm there. When it was 10pm here, it was midnight over there, and that's when it's the start of Equimas Day.
The show featured a few pop bands that I couldn't recognize if my life depended on it. They all sounded the same.
When 11:59pm Eastern Standard Time was reached, the giant Equimas ball descended from the top of the flagpole in a 60 second mission to reach the bottom. When 12:00 was reached and the ball hit the bottom of the pole where the lights saying "Merry Equimas Day 2012" turned on, the people in Times Cube went crazy with cheering and screaming. In P-Nix, the fireworks went off around the area. It was anything but a silent night. Equimas Day not only marked the beginning of the Spring season, it also marked the end of the long hibernation season that begam around Magenta the 1st, which was about the time Thanksgiving in the Gregorian calendar was happening. It was the beginning of the Carnival season that lasted for a month and a half on the Milliean Calendar.
At 11pm, the Equimas Eve party TV shows were over, and it was time for all of the stations to sign off for the night with a short news recap, a sermon from a pastor, TV station information, the Star Spangled Banner, a brief test pattern, and no signal. Arid Zone sure does shut down early. In the Summer, it shuts down at 10pm since they don't do Daylight time at all, and the day during the time the other states do Daylight time starts at 4am. It's handy so that people can work early and get off early and retire inside an air conditioned place for the rest of the day. Arid Zone gets brutally hot, between 90 and 120 degrees in most places during the summer months of Yellow, Yorange, and Orange.
We should have gone to Lost Wages, Oldvada where they're ringing in Equimas Day on the hour from 9pm until 6am. It's a city that never sleeps.
What will Santo Pedro and his eight flying buffalo bring us? I wonder why Pedro used buffalo instead of burros. I don't know. Hopefully it will bring some federal bailout money, but I doubt it.
Merry Equimas to all, and to all, a goodnight.
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