It was 3am on a Monday morning. I, Dean, and Jim were working at an overnight shift at Wal Fart stocking toys for Equimas shoppers. It was crunch time with just four days until the biggest day of the year, Equimas Day, and we had a s--t load of toys to stock up on the shelves. Worse yet, the store was open 24 hours a day through 5pm Equimas Eve Thursday.
I counted about 12 exterrestrial spaceships that were coming and going through the nearby wormhole going south from just west of Mount Scoob to about the intersection of highway 125 and I-208, a mile north of I-8. The 125 highway passes Wal Fart just 500 feet to the east.
One of the spaceships that Dean was talking about made a return visit as it came from the wormhole and flew towards the Will Call department. We came outside of the building near the docking bay and the spaceship landed just a few feet away from it.
The spaceship door opened up. A Scottish-looking man came down the stairs of the ship to greet us.
I said to him, "Scotty, I presume?" He said no, but he was a descendant of Scotty from 1,000 years into the future.
Dean asked him why he came into this lot for. The man waved his hands and abducted all of us into the spaceship. The spaceship then flew towards Mount Scoob and it rose up a mile where it settled for a while.
The man introduced himself as Captain Scott T. Shatner the 27th, a descendant of our Scotty. The spaceship was called, get this, Happydays. OK. What's next? Chuck coming down from upstairs after 1,000 years to greet us?
I asked the Captain if he was searching for Scotty because we were too. Captain said that he was, and he abducted Dean's boss Baio three nights ago becaue he figured out somehow Baio was the last person to see his ascendant Scotty when he was working overnights at Wal Fart.
Captain showed us the room where he was keeping Baio who wouldn't cooperate with the Captain. After I assured him that he was a descendant of Scotty and Scotty was one of my main men in El Zona, we got some facts from Baio.
Baio told us that after Scotty was recalled as Mayor of San Rubio because he declared the date that Happy Days premiered on ABC a paid holiday, Scotty and Carlotta, who just lost her job the same day he did, filed for divorce and settled it with Carlotta getting Scotty's house and Scotty keeping his other assets including not paying alimony. A month later, Carlotta lost the house to the bank because the house devalued and the balloon payments went up on Scotty's third mortgage, as he's been behind in payments for over a year, so the bank decided to foreclose on Carlotta's house. Carlotta's whereabouts remains unknown.
Scotty said something to Baio just a few days ago that he wanted to buy a share of a baseball team. I asked if it was the San Rubio Carp, and he said that it was. I told Baio and Shatner that Chachi is the coach and wonder if Scotty would be there in Shocker, Arid Zone at this moment for spring training.
I asked Captain Shatner why he needed to contact Scotty his ascendant. Shatner told me that sometime in the month of Red of 2012, around the time of the Presidential Election, someone in a time machine altered the time continuum which resulted in the disappearrance of the entire armed forces in the United States of the Nation in the year 3012, which in turn, caused Al Queda to fly thousands of suicidal airplanes into every major building in the nation, crippling the nation so bad that Al Queda took over and made their religion the law of the land.
I asked Captain Shatner that if he could find Dr. Albert and Beverly in this time period because they could help us and him fix the screwed up time continuum that's affecting even the present. Shatner said that he would do what he can, but needs to know what Albert looked like. I found a picture of Albert in my wallet, and had one of his assistants make copies of him. Shatner said that he'll do the best that he can. I also gave him a picture of Hoss so he could also find him as well.
After all of that talk, which took two hours, Captain Shatner had his crew fly the Happydays spaceship back over to Wal Fart, and dropped I, Dean, Jim, and Baio off at the shipping docks. The Happydays flew back southwards towards a wormhole and disappeared through it.
And we're not done yet. It was 5am and we all went back to work until 7am Monday when our shifts ended. Baio got his job as foreman back. I, Dean, and Jim went back to Motel 7 to get some daytime sleep.
At 2pm, we woke up ready for whatever is coming up. We decided to quit our jobs since we got enough money to make the long trip to Shocker, Arid Zone, to meet up with Chachi, Mindy, and possibly Scotty who could be a part-owner of the San Rubio Carp baseball team. We decided to surf the Internet to search for clues about Scotty, and sure enough, he is a part-owner of the team, but it also revealed on the Internet that Hoss Cartwrong, who used to run the Comedy Music Worldwide Ministries Headquarters in El Zono Loco, has taken a job in Yumma, Arid Zone, managing a sundae shop. We searched but no sign of Professor Albert and his wife Beverly's whereabouts. We couldn't find what happened to Carlotta, Alyssa, or Angelina, the latter was Chachi's longtime girlfriend.
We went over to Weird Alpine and found our nerd friend Lance and his wife Gina. We asked Lance for some help, as well as a place for us to sleep over. Lance said sure thing and while he was hacking the websites looking for clues, Gina made us a nice dinner, something that we haven't had in a long time. A few hours later, Lance found some answers. Carlotta moved back in with her mother after she lost the home. Scotty, her ex husband, is in Shocker. Angelina left Chachi when she caught him and Mindy smooching on her 18th birthday party. Wonder if Chachi and Mindy are going steady. Alyssa became a trainer for the Ewing Cowboys football team Cheerleaders in the United State of Tex.
Lance and Gina wanted to join us for our trip to Shocker, Arid Zone, and we said okay. We decided to hit the Corny Casino to have some fun for the night. Lance rigged one of the gambling machines by using some kind of magnetic and electronic wand to help Gina payout $156,425 in winnings. Lance and Gina donated $100,000 of it to its Indian tribe's homeless shelter, and they decided to fund our trip to Shocker and back and go along with us for the trip.
After we left about 10pm Pacific Standard Time, oh, by the way, the King of El Zona county fixed the time zones so that we don't have to change our clocks going eastwards until we hit the Arid Zone border, we decided to watch some satellite TV. Gina wanted to watch The All View Channel. Lance wanted to watch ESPN Spring Baseball Training Channel for some spring baseball highlights. We convinced Gina, yes, we HAD to convince Gina, that we should be watching ESPN Spring Baseball Training Channel for some highlights of the Carp team. We did, and we saw the beautiful young Mindy in a uniform with long legs, short skirt, a halter top, small waist, and big blonde hair hitting the baseball out of the field. After that, she went over to the dugout and kissed Chachi on the lips. I guess they're going steady. Did I tell you that Mindy is a permanent pre-op transsexual girl who looks like Buffy?
One of the interviewers talked to Scotty, the co-owner of the Carp, who told the interviewer that he hopes someday to have his team become big enough for Alyssa Milano to do a baseball blog on he and his team. Ha ha. Funny.
We'll, after that, we decided to get some shuteye and get up early to make the long trip to Shocker.
Cya tomorrow. Happy holidays.
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