El Zona de los Misterio Web Novels

Dean - the driver of the Hummer equipped with an HD realm travel box that he and I used to enter and leave the El Zona de los Misterio realm.

Jim - Dean's gay partner. Totally pissed off that Proposition 8 passed.

Scotty - a close friend in the other realm. The mayor of San Rubio. All-around handyman and electronics whiz.

Carlotta - Scotty's wife.

Danielle (my other realm cousin) and Yasmine - co-owners of Danielle's Grill and Sports Bar.

Chachi - my close friend in the other realm. A martial arts expert.

Angelina - Chachi's girlfriend. Formerly a merbabe (mermaid).

Alyssa - my other realm female friend. Can cast some spells.

Hoss Cartwrong - owner of the Comedy Music Worldwide Ministries Headquarters in El Zono Loco.

Russ - Hoss's college classmate.

Adam, Ben Jr., Joseph - the Cartwrong brothers of Hoss who live in New Mehicle.

Hoss Cartwrong Jr. - son of Hoss.

Irene - Hoss's ex-wife.

Professor Albert Edison - a scientist.

Dr. Beverly "Bones" McCoy - Albert's wife.

Lenny - friend who gets killed all the time.

Ana Tijuana - a Latina knockoff of Hannah Montana. Real name: Riley.

Millie - hangs out with Ana Tijuana as a body double.

Barb, Marcie, Patty, and Ellen - the four lesbian Mustketqueers.

Captain Joe - a radio deejay that plays funny songs.

Allen Wayne - Scotty's friend who is an operator of a supercomputer in the hills that's connected into San Rubio county's government offices and businesses.

Lance - geek and nerd. Owner of a radio station at Green Acorns.

Gina - a hot hermaphrodite waitress at the Corny Casino.

Mindy - a Jewish hermaphrodite martial arts expert. Thought Buffy was a mentor. Can use a push power to alter some forces.

Wendy - adoptive hermaphrodite mother of Mindy.

Jennifer - Wendy's wife. Adoptiive mother of Mindy.

Conan - Wendy and Jennifer's biological son. Stepbrother of Mindy.

Lisa, Nancy, Kim, and Charlotte - Mindy's sisters.

Grant and Dianna Lefkowitz - The rich and influential husband and wife team who were owners of the San Rubio Star newspaper. They adopted Lisa, Nancy, Kim, and Charlotte, Mindy's sisters.

Sid - Vampirish muscular albino punk.

Wilma - a witch. Mindy's friend. Looks strikingly similar to Alyson Hannigan.

Carl - a bad father of Mindy who insists that Mindy should be Mandy.

Billy and Grizzly - two men who lived in the woods.

Diana - deceased mother of Mindy and wife of Carl.

Teri - hired by Scotty to spook Carl because she looked like Diana.

Mr. Smith - the wizard.

Ollie - the teenage ogre

Robert - Ollie's father.

Captain James T. Picard, Commander William Spock, Dr. Crush Phlox, engineer McKenzie La Forge, communucations officer Ulura, helmsman Suhu, navigator Gorbachev, security officer Lt. Gorf, counselor Traci Dean, android Lt. Commander Text, translator Maria Longoria - crew of several Starship Enterprise eras rolled into one for the 2008 (Gregorian year) episode.

Roosevelt Carter - the proprietor of Teenstar Records on Atlantica Island. Creator of the business empire of Ana Tijuana.

Brian Schmuck - the creepy goon who tried to control all of what radio played in El Zona in 2006 Gregorian Year, but was sent to hell.

Jackie - a feman.

Russell - the late owner of a castle in La Goony that blew up in 2006 Gregorian Year who was killed by Brian.

Tony Win - a local baseball legend.

Tom Leycuss - an atheist afternoon radio talk show host.

Xanna - the goddess of the eternal rainbow color spectrum

Brain Damaged and Thug - prison cellmates.

Mrs. Robson - Carl's neighbor.

Susanna - a t-girl bellhop and co-owner of the T & A & W drive-in restarant. Get it?

Captain Scott T. Shatner the 27th - a descendant of Scotty 1,000 years into the future.

Baio - Dean's boss who is a nightshift stock foreman at Wal Fart.

Adam Cardassian (deceased) - a person who alterted the past and caused havoc with many people.

Bunny - a pre-op redhead transsexual 18-wheeler.

Bill - a beefy 18-wheeler who's a butch lesbian with an extremely masculine appearrance.

Bust and Daver's Gaming and Bar - a place.

Danielle's Grill and Sports Bar - a competeting place.

DisneyCox Island - a resort island west of San Rubio.

El Zona - the realm.

San Rubio - the host city.

San Rubio County - the county.

Cansee, Pondside, Sautee, El Zono Loco - East County cities.

Sunnychip - west of Sautee where the demon's hellhole resides.

Mount Coyote - a mid county hill.

Dissin' Valley - where people go shopping.

Make Out Point - an East county area. Guess why?

Weird Al Pine - an East County community.

Irrational City, Demon Grove, Lost Mesa - more cities.

Pointless Loma - a community full of cheap motels and sex on the West side.

Lost Hoya, Mira Mira - North County communities.

Grossout College - where Mr. Smith the wizard lives.

Mount La Goony - a mountain range that's about 6,000 miles above sea level.

Mount Cuckoomaca - a nearby hill of Mount La Goony.

Sam's Car Lost - a community west of El Zono Loco.

Foolian - an East County community in the La Goony mountain range.

El Pesoro - a city in the county east of San Rubio county.

Bananafornia - the state where San Rubio is located.

Aridzona - a state.

Yummy - a city in Aridzona.

P-Nix - the hottest city in the country. A city in Aridzona.

A time zone primer for the El Zona realm: there are two time zones that divide it.
The Western 1/5 of San Rubio, Disneyzone, and Los Megamess lies in the Pacific Time Zone.
The Eastern 4/5 of San Rubio, Midland Valley, Desertopia lies in the Mountain West Time Zone.

New Mehicle - a state.

United Realms of America - a collection of realms in America that suggest a unifed state.

United States of the Nation - the country.

United State of the Americas - a supercountry comprising of several countries in America.

Mehicle - a country south of UR of A.

Marijuana - a city in Mehicle.

Atlantica Island - an island on the East Coast.

Erf - the planet.

Taft - a satellite planet.

Hiro - a satellite planet.

Rush - a hydrogen gas satellite body that orbits Erf.

Cow - name of the biggest moon the orbits Erf.

Al - a satellite planet.

The Emperor - an enemy leader of the planet Al who's been captured and no longer ruling.

Lincoln - a planet closest to Mercury, close to the Sun.

Venuts and Hotcury - two more planets close to the Sun.

Santo Pedro - the bearded man who rides with eight flying buffallo delivering presents all over the world on Equimas Eve.

Who Drives What? Scotty - Earnhardtian Dean - Hummer Gina - Mustang Chachi - Yaris Hoss - Ford Explorer Professor Albert - Cadillac Mindy - Smart Car

Navigate To Another Page!