El Zona de los Misterio Web Novels

None. No holidays. It's just too cold to celebrate anything. It's simply a hibernation period.

On Dec 25 where A Day Without a Christian was being observed as people took the day off to be in a house and hang around a dead tree giving off an aroma during its final days of life, Dean and I drove in his Hummer equipped with an HD realm travel box. You say what is that? You see, the old realm travel box that once had until the Torino died for good was a 20th century model that uses obsolete analog waves and pulses to make the analog realm travel box work. The new HD travel realm box can go not only from realm to realm, it can do it in high definition all around instead of low definition. It can travel through space faster and more reliably. It can travel back and forth in time further back and forth and more efficiently. It even supports 3-D imaging and doesn't need special fuel to make it work. Dean's neighbor who's hooked on Doctor Who figured out the TARDIS phone booth technology and implemented it into Dean's Hummer and his own Corvette.

Anyway, it was the evening of December 24, 2008, or Purple 2, 2012 Milliean Date, when Dean asked me if I had anything to do tomorrow and wanted to go to El Zona for some employment. I said I sure could use some work since I can't get a better job in San Diego because the employers don't get what I can do, and the most of folks in dementialand aren't fans of my work, so I'm screwed in both the real life and the Internet life as I have no real friends except the ones at home.

Dean and I traveled to El Zona in his Hummer as we took a drive to any street and drove up to 44 MPH on any road. In the old analog realm travel machine, we had to speed up to 88 MPH to get it to work, but as it got older, you had to get up to 97 MPH, which used up too much gasoline as the box aged. We drove to 44 MPH on a road until the realm travel box zapped us into a worm hole and we sped thorugh the pulsating hole and onto a street somewhere in San Rubio City.

Dean and I drove onto a highway and found a place called Danielle's Grill and Sports Bar somewhere underneath the intersections of I-7, I-8, I-415, and I-508 freeways. It was looking for workers to work those days of Purple 2 and 3 because several union workers quit so they could travel to San Diego to celebrate Christmas, er, A Day Without a Christian day, in the real realm. We met Yasmine, a hot looking babe who happened to be one of the owners of the place who looked a lot like some Bleeth lady, but she invited us in and we got jobs bartending and taking orders at the sports bar.

There were 27 HDTV sets broadcasting basketball, hockey, soccer, football, wrestling, and even bowling in the huge bar that was as big as a Wall-Mart store. Best of all, we got paid money while we worked and watched the games. Just don't ask us who won any of the games. We forget.

There were computer terminals everywhere so they could connect to other realms and post blogs whereever they were. I went onto sandiegoradionews.com and posted some updates to the news from one of the kiosks there.

I was asked to go to take a shift in the classic arcade room where 80s arcade games lived and I had to manage the place for several hours. The place had bouncers that I could call on to remove the troublemakers and make them pay for any broken joysticks. There were ripoff versions of video games including Government Loan Bailout Pac-Man where Pac-Man gobbled all of the dollar signs and the IRS ghosts were trying to catch him.

I met my old El Zona realm pal Scotty who was hanging out in the arcade room. He told me a few updates since I left the area including the news that he is the new mayor of San Rubio since the other mayor quit because the city is broke and doesn't want to work for free. He says that San Rubio city is broke and can't pay Scotty, but says that he needs the experience of mayoring a city so that he could someday get paid in another city.

We talked and played some arcade game ripoffs including Sarah Palin Donkey Kong. No Mario. It's Sarah Palin with a shotgun instead of a mallet. All she had to do is to get close enough to the gorilla so she can shoot it dead and rescue John McCain who's being kept prisoner.

After the shift around midnight, I and Scotty went back to the sports bar and introduced Scotty to Dean who was finishing his shift at the bar. We left Danielle's place and drove around the town in Dean's Hummer.

It was early Purple 3rd. No holiday decorations. No parties. Everybody was asleep. It wasn't the holidays yet.

We drove over to Scotty's house and slept there for the night. Carlotta, Scotty's wife, gave us some hot milk before we turned in.

At 7am, we woke up. Scotty left for work and took the 3-D Trolley to Downtown where his mayor office sat. The 3-D Trolley? It goes up and down as well as left and right and back and forth, not just on one track from one side of the city to another. It can hop onto another track, take an elevatrollator and go up and down to meet up with another track, and get you where you want to be faster.

Dean and I left in his Hummer to go find some more work. The freeways were jammed as people were going to school and work. Yesterday was Jesus Christ Day, which wasn't a legal holiday, on Purple 2nd. Normally it falls on the equivalent of December 25th, but since the Gregorian Calendar had a leap year and the Milliean Calendar didn't have its leap year yet, it's one day fast until its own Leap Year Day falling on Blue the 31st, 2012.

Anyway, Dean and I went around the back side of the county and found a Weird Alpine Golf Country Club off I-6 and inquired about some job openings for cooks. The union cooks quit to, yes, go to San Diego to celebrate A Day Without a Christian day. What's with these unions in El Zona wanting to celebrate a day that's overhyped for commercial gain instead of a quiet observance of a Saviour in the Christian faith? Doesn't make any sense to me to exploit a sacred figure in religion for monetary gain.

We cooked up some breakfast for some hungry golf patrons for a couple of hours. At 1pm, I had a call on my Real Realm telephone that my home was having a family Christmas party. The country club let me go as it was the end of lunch and business was winding down for the day of the day restauraunt. Dean and I got paid and we left back to San Diego. Dean dropped me off at my home, but said that Danielle's Grill and Sports Bar needs me back tonight, so he lent me his handheld portable realm travel transporter so I could travel not just to El Zona, but to Danielle's within the same command. Dean set it up so that it would do just that, then he left for Oceanside in his Hummer.

I spent about seven hours spending Christmas in the real world at my house. It wasn't called A Day Without a Christian Day in a Catholic house. I exchanged gifts with family and guests, watched the Lakers beat the Celtics, listened to some Internet radio, and updated my sandiegoradionews.com blog.

At 8pm, I got a call from Danielle herself, my other realm cousin, and she wanted me over at her Grill in San Rubio. I took out the transporter, pushed the button that Dean set up, and in a flash, I appearred at Danielle's Grill and Sports Bar. I met up with cousin Danielle who looked like a cross between Marie Osmond and Roseanne Arnold. You figure out what she looked like, but she was a hot heavy woman.

Anyway, she had me working the TV switching console so that I would change channels on the 27 HDTV sets in the bar when it was time to change the channels. At 9pm, it was time for me to change HDTV number 14 to EBS so that it could show the hit game show Catch 27. The object of the game was to get a 27 by drawing cards until you get three or four that add up to 27.

At 9:30pm, I had to switch HDTV number 20 to Brady Bunch Network so that it could show the episode where Peter's voice cracks up during his brothers and sisters' singing practice session. Instead of finding the channel, I accidentally went to the PlayGay Channel and there were nude butch and femme lesbians prancing all over the channel. That was on for a minute, then I panickly switched to another wrong channel. It was the TV Bomb channel where they were showing a long forgotten Charo pilot that never got picked up by the networks. It was the Desparate Housegays channel where effeminate gays were feuding and plotting against each other. Then I tuned in to the Facts of Life: The Middle Age Years movie on Wifetime Channel and Blair and Jo were in a catfight over which one would be the Presidential Candidate for 2012.

Danielle came over and she was furious. She yelled at me, and demanded that I find the PlayGay channel again that I accidentally tuned in by mistake and her business picked up during the minute that it was on until it was tuned out.

You mean she didn't care about the 1971 rerun about Peter's voice cracking up?

At 10pm, I had to change HDTV set number 2 to get the Canadian Hockey News Channel, number 4 to get the Video Easel channel, number 9 to get the Laverne and Shirley channel, and number 21 to get the Blackjack Channel. I got them all mixed up and decided to quit as I wasn't too up to par at finding the channels on the 10,000 channel satellite system that the sports bar has. I told Danielle that she has to find another one because there's just too many channels and I wanted to just leave as I was tired. Danielle understood and paid me anyway for finding a PlayGay channel that she didn't know she had on the system.

I turned on the portable realm transporter and pressed the RETURN HOME button to take me back to where I was, and I was at home again.

Dean called me and asked me to set the transporter to return itself to him. I hooked it up via USB cable between my computer and the transporter. Dean gave it some commands through the Internet, then the transporter disappearred. Dean told me that it's back in his hands and hoped that I enjoyed my trip.

Well, that's an update on what I did on A Day Without a Christian Day, Christmas Day, and Jesus Christ Day, depending on what day and where I was during the past two days.

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