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Day 6: Ana Tijuana Drivin' Us Bananas (March 19, 2008 Gregorian date, Blue 26, 2011 Milliean date).

It's Equimas Eve in El Zona de los Misterio. It's also unofficial Ana Tijuana day all over the region as the Latin teen sensation comes to the San Rubio Ampitheater for an Equimas Eve concert.

It's also the last day of the Equimas shopping season. Shoppers were snapping up Ana Tijuana merchandise even though they were marked up into the hundreds of dollars, even for a single watch with Ana's face on it.

The malls were packed tight as a sardine can. The stores all closed up at 5pm so that all of the workers could celebrate Equimas Eve, and watch Ana Tijuana at least on pay per view.

I woke up this morning and I finally got a chance to watch that Alyssa Milano movie I taped Saturday. "Wisegal." What a gal. Probably the sexiest actress in this generation. Alyssa is hot in just about anything. She almost was as hot in her teen days as real life counterpart Hannah Montana was today. If they only released Alyssa's CDs in America instead of just in Japan. Alyssa was number one in Japan. She could have been number one in America as well.

Carlotta and Alyssa (last name NOT Milano) were getting the house ready for Equimas day.

Scotty was outside tuning up his Earnhardtian automobile to see if he could modify it so that it could do realm travel more effectively.

There were no more news reports of the demons from the Sunnychip hellmouth coming out and killing more people. The army tank must have scared them over to another realm.

Chachi enrolled Mindy into a school of vampire slaying so she could develop her new sudden skill.

Angelina stayed home and decorated her and Chachi's house.

Conan tried to call Millie to invite her to see the Ana Tijuana concert that night, but her father answered the phone, and told him that Millie was on a secret mission that is classified, in fact, she won't be home until after the holidays. Coincidentally, the Ana Tijuana concert tour happens during the holidays.

Hoss declined Conan's invitation to come with the gang to see Ana Tijuana in concert. Hoss said that he had some business to take care of.

Conan needed someone to take his 12th and final ticket to see the Ana Tijuana concert, but everybody was out of ideas. Conan began to call some of his male friends, but none of them could stand her music, and they hoped that Conan didn't like Ana's music either or else he would be branded a pussy for liking girl music. Hey, it's not the music that Conan likes; he just likes the girl. The other boys probably won't admit it themselves the same thing either.

Finally, Conan found somebody to invite with him as his date. Mindy's friend Wilma. Wilma looks strikingly similar to Alyson Hannigan. He'll find out why later.

Carl is spending some time in jail. The jail has a view of downtown San Rubio. Carl still has a picture of his late wife. Diana was her name. Hoss went over to the jail and had some terse words to share with Carl regarding Mindy. He tells Carl to back off and let Mindy be or else Hoss will see to it that Carl will be tossed so far out of the realm he'll land into the reruns of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. Carl screamed in horror about the thought. Carl then showed Hoss a picture of his late wife, Diana, and says that Diana wanted her only son to exist. Hoss tells Carl that people learn to think who they are whether they're told otherwise or not, and they will develop into whatever natural forces shape Mindy to be, which is a vampire slayer with heroific superpowers and martial skills, as well as a 18 year old girl who happens to have a p.... Carl interrupted Hoss and told him that Mandy must live. Hoss then told Carl that why can't he just get a woman pregnant, give birth to a boy, then name him Mandy and raise him alone. Carl tells Hoss that it would be a betrayal of Diana's wishes. Hoss tells Carl that he needs to get off of it.

Albert from Atlantica Island calls Scotty and tells him that the naval air base is preparing for a huge incoming ship from another time, then wished us a Merry Equimas and promised he will tell us when the ship arrives.

Meanwhile, Hoss visits Scotty's house. I was out with Lenny looking for an Equimas turkey for the holiday dinner the next day. We found a good one. It was so heavy that it landed on Lenny and almost crushed him to death.

At Scotty's house, Hoss came in, but Scotty asks him to be quiet because he was watching the last minute of The Young and the Restless. Hoss said "not you too?" A few seconds later, on the soap, Gloria screams in horror as she thinks she sees a ghost of her dead husband John Abbott looking at her through the dinner room window.

Scotty commented that now he knows why Roosevelt Carter watches this show. Hoss asks what is this thing about the show. Scotty tells Hoss that Jack is using a lookalike actor to pose as a dead husband of another woman so that it could scare her into giving Jack what he wants, and notes that Jack was either going crazy talking to a ghost of his father John or channeling Jennifer Love Hewitt of Ghostwhisper.

Hoss is beginning to wonder why we're watching so many weird TV shows.

Hoss gets an idea. What if we could find somebody who looks like Diana and spook Carl into leaving Mindy alone. This is what we all want. Scotty says that he better leave Mindy alone and will go out on the Greg's List website to look for somebody who looks like Diana, and Hoss should help Scotty find her.

Meanwhile, on top of the Sunnychip hellmouth, the militia were busy sealing up all remaining holes into the devil's lair so that they won't get out so easily.

It was 5pm and all the stores were closing up for the holiday. Panicked shoppers who still didn't finish their shopping were kicked out by the bouncers and told them to return the day after Equimas Day.

We finished wrapping up all of the gifts. Scotty and Hoss found a few lookalikes for the late Diana (not the princess, the wife of Carl.) Hoss left to do some business elsewhere.

It was 8pm. We arrived at the San Rubio Amphitheatre. I, Scotty, Chachi, Lenny, Carlotta, Angelina, Alyssa, Wendy, Jennifer, Mindy, Conan, and Wilma arrived on Conan's ticket. Barb, Marcie, Patty, and Ellen arrived at their own tickets. We saw Ana Tijuana come out and sing a couple of dozen of her hits, none of which I ever heard of, but the teenage girls were screaming so loud that it was impossible for me to hear her sing.

Still Conan kept wondering where Millie was as she would have enjoyed seeing the concert.

Hoss came to the stage dressed as Santo Pedro and gave Ana Tijuana a present. A DVD set of every episode of What's Happening!! Ana thanked Hoss as Santo as this was one of her favorite shows that her parents watched and she wanted a set of her own. Conan thought that this was also what Millie wanted for Equimas.

Hoss then spotted us in the audience and gave a shoutout to each of us by name.

It was close to midnight Pacific Time and Ana invited us to count down the last remaining seconds to Equimas Day. 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...

MERRY EQUIMAS!!!!

Balloons and confetti came down and people were screaming and celebrating the day. We sang an equivilant of Auld Lang Syne with the lyrics changed for Equimas Day. I can't recall the lyrics, but it went something like this.

For all your wish be not forgot, zubba, zubba, zubba.

Sorry, everybody was out of sync and I couldn't understand the rest.

The coming of Equimas Day means that the Falinter season (fall and winter combined) is coming to an end, and a new season and year is finally beginning. The new year begins on Aqua 1st, 2012.

We all went home to our houses. We're anticipating any Star Trek developments that might come out. We experienced some kind of Hannah Montana moment. We just had a Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and we're just getting into stealing an idea from the Young and the Restless for this vacation. Who knows whether anything else can be worked into this vacation.

One thing for sure. Santo Pedro and his Eight Flying Buffalo are going to billions and billions of homes all over Erf in a 24 hour period.

Just as I was about to post this blog, Albert calls us on the phone. I, Scotty, Alyssa, and Carlotta listen as Albert gives us the most incredible miracle short of the birth of Jesus. Santo Pedro has delivered a Starship Enterprise right onto the naval air base of Atlantica Island! Looks like Roosevelt Carter's wish came true.

Meanwhile, the hyrodgen gas Rush is either dim and not producing any light, or the near Full Moon is outshining it as Santo is delivering presents.

No reports of any more rockets from satellite Al has been reported by the space government agency for days. Oops. I spoke too soon. One rocket just fired off at about 12:20am Pacific Standard Time, or 1:20am Mountain West Time. It didn't reach Rush. It was hooking, hooking...foul! Off to the left. The kick was no good, and the opposing team takes over from the point where the kick occurred. At the half, it's the New England Patriots 62, the Al Humanoids 7. This is the UFL on the El Zona Football Network!

Can't wait until football season returns. I should return in the fall to see what football in El Zona is like. Hope you got all of what you asked Santo to get you for Equimas. Cya tomorrow.

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