On this holiday during the season, you can celebrate any occasion with a glass of beer. Any brand of beer. For those who are driving, choose the non-alcoholic beverage to enjoy.
With just two days away from Thursday, D.T. managed to secure hundreds of local acts to perform on that day in a series of venues and concerts that will take place all over El Zona under the umbrella title of Mindy Aid, where the players play for charity and people who pay a fee to enter are paying towards the $10,000,000 ransom that the realm has to raise in order to have the imprisoned Mindy set free from the castle in Mount La Goony.
Chachi and Angelina, hosts of the El Zona Thon now in its second day, report that the area had raised only $97,530 as of 6am this morning, a pacing well off by 50 percent. Chachi asks for people to simply double up their efforts and to not delay, donate today.
Scotty drives his Earnhardtian into Marijuana, Mehicle, and asks the Spanish-speaking deejays to get their listeners involved into raising funds for the relase of Mindy. He figured that if the Spanish deejays can get their listeners to protest against anti-immigration legislation, they can do the same for a little giroy imprisoned in a castle.
Carlotta and Alyssa discover a few new clues within the broadcasts of their show and the Tom Leycuss show last Friday. Seems that there is a faint sound of horses in the background that was inaudible when the shows were broadcast. They compressed the sound, raising the background noises, until they could hear what sounded like horses whinning in a nearby stable. They also receive a castlegram (from the boss) saying that they have only three days left. Mindy will be released to her father Carl if he does not receive the $10,000,000 by Friday at 5pm.
An angry Wendy calls into the Tom Leycuss radio show and the two duked it out verbally. Tom calls Wendy a pussified man, calling her a sir, dude, and for her to man up. Wendy, being a feman, countered Tom by saying that he has no understanding of sexes other than manly men and womanly women. Tom counters her that her feman gender is made-up and is really a man who looks like a woman. Wendy counters Tom that then women who wear boys clothes should be treated like men instead of women, and if they can crossdress as men, then we males can dress as women and be feman, men, or trannies. Tom says that Wendy is so pussified. Wendy tells Tom that she is more of a lady than most of the women who dress like boys and chop off their hair to look more like boys. Tom says that Wendy needs to become a man, but Wendy tells Tom that he needs to become a human. Tom tells Wendy that he bets that she is a fat dude. Wendy says that she will send him her picture the way she is with long hair, 38-DD breasts, 38-26-38 figure, long legs, and hot dresses. Tom tells Wendy not to make him sick. Wendy tells him that she is hotter than most of the chicks he pumped and dumped. Tom tells her not to send him her photo. Wendy sends it in via e-mail. Tom's producer who sees the e-mail gets excited and takes some tissue and Vaseline into the bathroom. Tom takes a look and is stunned. Wendy tells her that males can be hot babes too if females can be cold dudes. Tom erects a tent in his pants not believing that Wendy is really male. Wendy assures Tom that she erected a tent that helped her wife Jennifer produce Conan last year. Tom tells Wendy to forget manning up as he is too much of a lady. Wendy tells Tom that she hopes that the boss returns her giroy child Mindy back. Tom takes a look at the newspaper photo of the missing Mindy and wonders why she is called a giroy. Wendy tells Tom that a giroy is a boy that has feminine features and will grow up to be a feman. Tom says that with a look like that, the boys will have a hard time controlling their manhood in their pants. Wendy says her Giroy Scout troop misses her. Tom says that he can't believe any of this and hangs up the phone. He takes a break and heads into the bathroom with tissue and Vaseline.
Albert and Hoss continue fine-tuning the computer card modification after testing it on Hoss's computer using D.T.'s collection of comedy music, but Albert says that there are a few minor bugs that need to be smoothed out.
The four butch lesbians, inside the cabin in Mount Cuckoomaca, travel to the castle on their horses and leave their horses by the stable as the four venture to the back of the castle to install new batteries inside the computer controlled relay that controls which fireworks will go off. Meanwhile, the four horses by the stable jumped the fence to get in, and have gay horse sex with the other male horses owned by the boss of the castle.
Erica dreams of poisoning Greg. Damn. Not again. Wrong serial, folks. Get out of my blog, Susan Lucci!
In a diner located in Foolian, Carl skims some of the donation money intended for the ransom fund for Mindy and uses the money to buy some booze and cigarettes.
Inside the castle, Brian Schmuck tries to get the area radio stations to play his lame Brian Radio playlists playing top 40 crap but with no success because they're committed to carrying the El Zona Thon. Russell, one of the assistants of the boss of the castle, heads to the top of the castle where Mindy is imprisoned. Russell gives her a pink dress for her to wear. Mindy is afraid to come near him. Russell sets it by the door, then leaves after locking it.
Later that afternoon, the boss sends out another castlegram, this time, adding a demand that Brian Radio must be heard on the intercoms after Friday at 5pm.
Some religious protesters were outside the KSEBQ radio studio in downtown San Rubio, saying that aiding Mindy is aiding a creation of Satan and nobody should be donating any money to the devil so that Mindy's father can kill Mindy in order to rescue Mandy. Now that's what's wrong with organized religion such as Cathecism, who are using the superstitious elements in their religion such as scare tactics because they don't like healthy people doing natural things that are different than what they are taught as normal. They say that you aid the devil when you do this; what they're really saying is that they don't like it when you do this, so they will tell you some superstituous thing like you are aiding satan and will go to hell if you keep on doing this. What hypocrites! What happened to the fact that feman and giroys are God's creations as well as boys and men and girls and women, as well as gays, lesbians, bis, trans, asexuals, and other sexual combinations. Hell is for people like the bible thumpers who use superstitution as a form of persuasion in order for them to get things their way.
Across the street, there are femen and giroys protesting the Catholics protesting and get into some really ugly confrontations calling each other servants of satan and spar over what God is about. I don't know about these groups, but the God I figured out to be is the one that creates human beings of any combination of 512 sexual features. To say that the world is restricted to men and women is plain wrong and uneducated at best when you consider that there are more to human sexuality than just two sexualities.
In the evening, during the El Zonanian Idol on Wolf-TV, Ryan Seasick tells the viewers that each text message fee will go towards the release of Mindy. Unfortunately, not that many people are interested in teenagers singing stale pop songs that Brian Schmuck thinks people want to hear everywhere.
On this evening, D.T. and Scotty go to the Bust and Dave's Bar and Gaming World to drink up beer, play pool and bowling with the chicks, watch some hi-def hockey and basketball, and an amateur comedy rock night for comedians putting funny poetry to music, making fun of other people's songs and making El Zonanian Idol look shameful.
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