Mar 20: Vernalmas Holidays (Day 4-first Monday) Get an early jump on summer day.
Mar 20: Vernalmas Holidays: Equimas Eve (Santo Pedro rides his eight beefy flying buffalo all over the world overnight delivering Equimas gifts to everybody regardless of religion or culture.)
Mar 20: Vernalmas Holidays: Spring Equinox
Meanwhile, early Equimas morning, inside San Bent Over Prison, Carl the inmate, was talking with his other prison mates.
Carl tells I B Thug that his son is being raised by confused gender freaks who brainwashed his son Mandy into being raised as a girl. Thug asks Carl how he found out about this. Carl tells Ima that he found out when his rabbi visited him last week to tell Mandy that he has been kicked out of the Jewish religion because of disobedience to tradition and cannot be a part of that religion anymore. Thug tells Carl that he can't let this happen to his boy and Mandy needs a man figure to raise him properly, not a freakish woman-man for a parent, and comes up with a plan for Carl to break out of prison.
Another cellmate, Brain Damaged has a TV set tuned in to the late news on some local channel. One of the kids being interviewed making wishes to Santo Pedro was Mandy (as Mindy) wishing that he (she) could reunite with his (her) four lost sisters who were last seen in an orphange and cannot be located.
Carl says to Thug, "Holy s--t, it's my son!"
Brain does an internet search for Mandy and locates where the child is living, complete with directions to the house. So much for child protection laws on the Internet in El Zona.
Carl asks Thug what the plan is, and Thug tells Carl what to do.
Now, in order to not give away any hints to any prison cellmates that may be reading this, I won't be divulging how Carl escaped from the prison, but around 2am, Carl made his escape and his on his way to find Mandy and to get him out of the Wendy and Jennifer house.
Around the same time, D.T.'s stack of comedy and novelty MP3s on 100 CDs were stolen from an unreleated thief. He didn't care for the cash, credit cards, ATM cards, watches, or anything else. Just the music.
Equimas Eve is the last shopping day of the year and all stores would close at 6pm sharp, so this was due or die for those last-minute holiday shoppers.
Meanwhile, that blasted Brian Radio soft pop music was blasting over the public intercoms, causing some of the vacating children to act stupid and disoriented, and causing them to wish to Santo Pedro for stuff heard in rap records such as b-tches, hoes, pimps, drugs, and hard liquor.
Alyssa, Carlotta, and the Little Merbabe take out some guns to silence those blasted Brian Radio intercom speakers, but the speakers would not be silenced despite being hit numerous times by bullets.
Hoss and Albert decide to educate San Diego about the importance of the Equimas holiday to a very oblivious crowd. Albert gave a speech to a bored student body in a college amphitheater and was mostly greeted by yawns, people talking on their cell phones, listening to their ipods, and bouncing a beach ball around the audience.
D.T. was shocked when he discovered that his comedy music MP3s on CD-Rs were stolen overnight. Scotty got some modifications to his Earnhardtian model done. Chachi came to the house with four tickets to see the World Baseball Classic between Cuba and Japan at Petco Park in San Diego. They tried to call Hoss to give the extra ticket to, but he was with Albert in San Diego touring the college campuses to promote Equimas Day, which is the next day. Scotty called Barb, his butch lesbian neighbor, but she was planning to go out of town to be with Marcie, Patty, and Ellen for an Equimas party. Scotty then called Lenny, another neighbor, and he agreed to join them. D.T., Scotty, Chachi, and Lenny drove into San Diego in the Earnhardtian around noon, hoping to find Albert and Hoss and to tell them that they're going to the game, but they could not be located as their cell phones would not function in San Diego for some reason.
Meanwhile, two mystery Scientologists sighed D.T. and the gang and thought out a plan to hitch a ride back to El Zona to promote their cult in that realm.
After getting lunch from Original Tummy's Hamburgers, where they all dined on eight-dollar triple-burger meals, "Nicole" and "Paris" came up to them and wanted to hitch a ride to Petco Park. Scotty said no way because their reality series sucked and they drove off.
"Nicole" and "Paris" sight Hoss and Albert at Computer Shack looking for some card that Albert could alter into a one of his secret projects. Albert and Hoss agreed to hitch a ride with them as long as they could stand six more hours of shopping for computer and science gear around San Diego. They said okay. Afterwards, they go to Bill's Big HDTV Sports Palace and watch the WBC game while downing beer and pretzels.
After the game, Hoss and Albert drive up to Make Out Point with the ladies. They ask why. Hoss said that before we take you back home to El Zona, we wanted to make out with you. They tell them to skip the making out and to take them directly to El Zona. So Hoss and Albert dumped the ladies because they could't hump them, and they drove off back into El Zona.
Hoss tells Albert that they thought they were hoes because of the way they dressed. Albert sensed that they were Scientologists trying to get into El Zona to promote their banned copyrighted religion and their plan to get rid of them after the game worked.
Earlier after the game, D.T., Scotty, Chachi, and Lenny drive back into El Zona where all of the stores are closed for Equimas Eve. Along the way, they spot some strange man they never knew (Carl) walking up the boulevard. They pull over.
Scotty asks the man where he was going.
The man (Carl) had to make up an excuse and said that his Santo Pedro suit was stolen and needed to get one so he could reunite with his eight flying buffalo and to deliver the presents.
Chachi spots an adult costume shop open late for some mysterious reason and they come up with a costume that was somewhat close to what he wanted, which was a rugged leather motorcyclist. They buy the man (Carl) the costume and wished him a Merry Equimas. The man vanished without a trace.
D.T. asked them why couldn't the man wish himself a new costume. Chachi explains that if Santo Pedro could, he wouldn't have been walking on the street. So, I guess that explained it. They also rent some adult DVDs of an Anne Robinson figure whipping a chained man for sexual amusement.
They all drive home. Chachi stays with Lenny in case something threatens to kill Lenny.
Navigate To Another Page!
Home,
Latest News,
El Zona Menu,
E-Mail