In the early hours of that morning, just after Santo Pedro made his delivery of holiday presents, a couple of men on a sleigh pulled by eight flying pit bulls landed on the roof, came down the chimney, picked up the Ice Bush, took it up the chimney, set it in their sleigh, and off they went!
Shortly after that, about 4am, the El Zona de los Misterio region is having a heavy snowfall as the temperature mysteriously drops to 27 degrees...on the first full day of Spring!
At 6am, residents woke up to a White Equimas, something that has never happened before in the El Zona region. The children wake up their parents earlier than usual and made them see the white blankets of snow covering all of the holiday season decorations up and down the region.
The gang at Albert's house woke up and saw that the Ice Bush is missing from the living room. The presents remained on the floor. Soon after, Hoss visits Albert's place and tells the gang that his wife ran away with some corporate media guy because he has everything Hoss is too poor to afford.
Around 8am, they turned on the TV and saw endless Equimas Day programming and news reports on a mysterious cold snap that has put the entire region in a deep freeze while surrounding regions remained at normal temperature. By comparison, Lost Angel-less just up north is hitting 80 degrees already and El Pennyro to the east is at 90 and rising.
The gang decided to open up the Equimas presents they gotten from Santo Pedro overnight.
Albert received a new set of test tubes and an all-digital life giver for future robot projects. Beverly got a pair of diamond earrings that resembled a mobile. Hoss (Santo did expect him to visit) got a DVD of The Osbournes and a pair of super-heated hiking boots. Scotty got a wireless internet ready radio to tune in Internet radio streams, and a free years subscription for New Engineering Horizons magazine. Chachi received an advance pair of tickets to see "Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed" starring his raving fave, Sarah Michelle Gellar, a complete catalog of music by Fat Boy Slim, and a new motor-powered scooter. D.T. received a years supply of Quizway low-fat subs, a digital video recorder to find his favorite shows, a cheap 99 cent watch made in China, because D.T. is cheap, and a cannon ball launcher for his shins. We'll know what some of these gifts can do later.
While the holiday gift opening was going on, at around 9am, all of the TV sets and radio stations mysteriously cut off their scheduled programming and a mysterious man came on. Here's what he said.
Mikkos Disneycox: Merry chilly Equimas everybody. This is the powerful scientist Mikkos Disneycox taking over every radio station, television station, cable channel slot, and every satellite dish channel to bring your attention to me. I want to speak to the King of El Zona, Day Grayvis, immediately. This is very important. When Day Grayvis has been contacted, I will return to all of the airwaves for a list of demands that I am going to make. Enjoy your extra chilly Equimas Day.
And Mikkos signs off on all of the channels. The gang is flabberghasted at what happened.
Albert: Oh crap! That's the evil Mikkos Disneycox, the demented scientist! He used to be a student of mine at Harwars College a decade ago.
Scotty: Man, I never knew anybody could ever beat Clear Channel in the game of taking over every piece of airwaves.
Chachi: Does he know something about what's going on with the weather?
D.T.: Or does he have the expensive Ice Bush that was stolen and he wants millions for it?
Hoss: Dudes, this is pretty f--ked up, right here!
Albert: The question is, is he demented enough to have invented something that changes the weather?
D.T.: Wonder if he ever watched Batman reruns.
Chachi: Batman? I was thinking of the Cassidine freeze mob on General Hospital from 1981.
Scotty: Maybe he watched the shows too and got the idea for a freeze machine if he is resposible for this cold snap!
Beverly: Or somebody else is working independently of this weird isolated cold snap and hasn't come on the air yet.
Hoss: What's so strange about it is that while I was driving here from the hills, after I discovered that my wife left me for some rich a--hole jerkoff, the weather went from 52 degrees to 25 in less than 10 minutes at about 3am, and I had to put on snow chains to continue driving here and that took me all of four hours because the snowfall was so thick.
Albert: That temperature drop must have come soon after the Ice Bush was stolen. Uh oh!
Beverly: What is it, honey?
Albert: Legend has it that the concentration is so strong that it can literally stop traffic cold as the auctioneer says, but does this mean it can literally stop the weather cold?
Scotty: It's possible, but we have to find the Ice Bush in some contraption someone made to prove it.
D.T.:Well, if Mikkos knows what we're thinking about the Ice Bush, the weather, and a list of demands he has yet to announce, then I suspect that he's behind all this since all of this happened so soon in a short period of time.
Chachi: You may have a point, but we'll have to wait until Mikkos takes over every channel again and see what he demands from the King.
Scotty: I can't wait for the recall so I would know how to deal with someone like Mikkos.
Hoss: How do you know what he's like if you never met him?
Scotty: I got a hunch he's part of a big problem in the region. If that Day Dufus king fails to come up with a solution, then he's for sure to be recalled come May.
D.T.: Wait, all of the programming has stopped again.
Albert: This must mean that Mikkos Disneycox is coming on the air.
Mikkos: Greetings. Happy Equimas. This is Mikkos Disneycox, the most powerful man in the whole region. I am here to announce that I have taken over the weather in El Zona and has put the entire region in a deep freeze. I am ready to speak to the King of El Zona, Day Grayvis, about my list of demands. I am still awating for Grayvis to respond to my request to make several changes in the charter of the region of El Zona.
Albert: Hey, that's him who's doing the weather! If he has the Ice Bush, then he's responsible for using it in some cold weather machine if that's what it is.
Day Grayvis via phone to Mikkos on TV: Hello, this is your royal highness, King Grayvis, responding to your request.
Mikkos: Excellent, King. Thank you for honoring my request on this special holiday.
Day: What are your demands and will you return our weather to normal?
Hoss: Where is he broadcasting from?
Albert: Quiet, Hoss. We'll talk later!
Mikkos: I have a few very simple matters I want resolved before I return the temperature back to normal.
Day: What is your first request?
Mikkos: I want to own every TV station, radio station, cable system, gasoline station, electric company, gas company, and supermarket so I can profit richly from the high prices of consumers who have to pay them in order to survive in this city. ,P> Day: And if I don't?
Mikkos: Well, we don't want anyone to die from the cold snap, do we? I can just turn down the temperature even more and put the region well into the minus zone.
Day: You're insane, Mikkos! I won't allow you to do that to us.
Mikkos: Well then, are you willing to change the charter so that all of the companies I outlined will be forced to give up their businesses to my business partners so they can profit richly from the citizens of El Zona?
Day: Never!
Mikkos: Very well. I'll just turn down the temperature to 15 degrees and force your citizens to turn up the heaters, and as more people use more natural gas to heat their homes, the price of natural gas goes up because of high demand, and the colder it gets, the more expensive it will be for them to pay, even higher than they would under my demands.
Day: We'll use electricity.
Mikkos: Same thing with the cost of electricity. The open market in El Zona will raise the cost of each megawatt well over $10,000, just to barely make the demand of electric heaters, and it still doesn't mean that there won't be any rolling blackouts here.
Day: We'll use gasoline.
Mikkos: Come on, now. Gasoline can explode when contacted with heat. The price of gas in El Zona is already climbing to $3 when last count, and will surely rise to $10 a gallon as more cars demand the dwindling supply of gasoline that must be delivered by a slowing fleet of trucks who are the sole deliverers of gasoline. Too much snow and the gasoline can't come to the cities.
Day: You got it all figured out. Are you part of Al Queda?
Mikkos: No. I don't have any henchmen ramming airplanes into buildings, do I? As the snow gets thicker, trucks can't deliver the food to the markets, so the supply of food will dwindle down to nothing, and the residents will starve.
Day: Good grief! You're smart for someone demented.
Mikkos: Thank you for understanding. Now I'll give you a while to think over my list of demands as I go off the air. Merry Equimas.
And the channels go dark, then come back with regular programming.
Albert: Dammit! He's the one who's causing this cold to happen!
Scotty: I have used some signal tracking device to trace the signal, but its coming from all directions. Mikkos must have track-proofed the originating signal with decoys all over the county!
D.T.: Well, there's a job that only one organization can handle, and I'm part of it.
Scotty: What? Who?
D.T.: I am an agent for the Realm Security Bureau.
Scotty: Why didn't you tell us this before?
D.T.: I was just deputized last week by commissioner Robert Aquarius. He's in charge of the whole RSB agency.
Chachi: What does it do here?
D.T.: Many of us regular folks in the El Zona and other realms are deputized agents of the RSB. During normalcy here, we're just toiling in labor just like everybody else. Now that there's a big crisis here, I must contact the commissioner to see if we're needed.
Hoss: So the agency can work to locate Mikkos and turn off the weather machine before it freezes us all dead.
D.T.: That's the point.
So D.T. calls the RSB world headquarters and is informated that all RSB agents must show up in person by 9am tomorrow for a briefing by commissioner Robert Aquarius after he gets a plan put together to find Mikkos and his weather machine.
Chachi: Looks like you have to go.
D.T.: Looks like you all have to go with me.
Chachi: Huh?
D.T.: We're going to need the help of you, Albert, Scotty, Hoss, and Beverly in helping me and my agents solve this cold freeze case, especially Albert since it's his Ice Bush that's been stolen and Mikkos never mentioned if he has it or is using it in his weather machine.
Albert: Hey, I had a lot of fellow scientists who are RSB agents. I wonder if they're still with them.
D.T.: We'll see, but for now, we got to get our cars tuned up to drive in the snow.
Scotty: I'll help you put snow chains on your Torino.
Chachi: I'll let you guys know if Mikkos comes back on the air.
D.T.: He'll be on every radio channel. We'll have the radio on when he comes on.
Chachi: OK. But don't freeze your asses off. It's 15 degrees outside!
Hoss: Let's watch some 32-team college basketball madness on four channels off the satellite while we wait for Mikkos to return.
And so, as time marched on this Equimas Day, the gang had snowball fights, played bowling in Albert's alley, and played hockey with frozen bird eggs.
Meanwhile in the rest of the city, the children were playing with the snow, and for the first time in years, nobody turned on the computers to play games or watched TV. Hey, it isn't everyday that it snows here, but I guarantee that once the novelty wears off, the kids will be back glued to the tube in no time.
As the day came to an end, the weather stayed at 15 degrees thanks to Mikkos and his weather machine. It was the coldest day in the El Zona de los Misterio region ever.
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